Parents; Be Careful What You Do To Your Children - Post 1

Before I start sharing my thoughts about this subject, I have to make it clear that I’m not a parent and I’m not a psychiatric. What I’m going to write here is purely my observations and my humble analysis of behaviors that I've seen throughout the years. I've also taken some initiatives to read about it and speak to psychiatrists to try and find out some answers and if there is hope to reverse damage.

When I was much younger, I never used to understand why teenagers and adults, especially boys, were behaving in certain unconventional ways but the more I saw while growing up, the more I realized the relation between behavior and parenting.

One could argue that parenting is not the only factor why children turn out to be the way they are and I agree because there are other reasons that could adversely affect the child’s behavior like poverty, bullying, war, sexual and physical abuse, born an orphan and neglected, culture & tradition, gender stereotyping, technology and media, security and safety. This is just to name a few. Some people may also argue that the reason could be the working mother in the family which I don’t agree to that. My mother was a working parent until I became 26 years old and we all turned out to be strong and independent. And why always blame the mothers? 

In my opinion, parents and family are more influential when it comes to the child’s behavioral development because they provide the most important environment for development. Even if the child is exposed to all the external factors but without healthy, quality and loving parenting, the child could easily get hurt mentally & emotionally. 

Children need love, acceptance, help, guidance, and encouragement. Who are the best people to provide that other than a loving family? And I’m saying family because not all kids have biological parents.

Below are some of my observations of certain behaviors that I could not comprehend before but I learnt to understand while growing up and seeing them over and over again in almost every culture. I listed them in the form of questions because they were a mystery to me:

-          Why some teenagers and adults, especially boys, are overly shy and lack confidence and self-esteem?

-          Why some of them become aggressive, hurtful, and vindictive?

-          Why some were born normal and happy kids but then, when they become teenagers, they develop schizophrenia especially boys?

-           Why are they having difficulties socializing and not able to make friends or go to work or even get out of the house although they are very smart and talented?

-          Why all they do is eat and smoke and isolate themselves in their rooms doing nothing but stare at the walls?

-          Why would they confide to strangers and not their parents or siblings?

-          Why are they so passive and don’t react to situations or don’t take initiatives or just simply not interested in what’s going on around them?

-          Why they are always depressed and nothing pleases them?

-          Why are they so rigid in their way of thinking and become stubborn when expressing their point of view?

-          Why would they have no remorse to their bad actions towards others?

-          Why would they abandon the loving people and instead hangout with the wrong crowd?

-          Why can’t they tell the difference between seriousness and a joke and it’s always serious to them and easily get angry?

-          Why do they easily get emotional and cry from a simple act of kindness?

-          Why are they always skeptical of everybody’s intentions and actions?

-          Why aren't they able to plan and make their own decisions and instead feel helpless always?

-          Why are they afraid of judgment and consequences?

-          Why can’t they become leaders and only feel comfortable being followers?

-          Why do they become rebellious after they were known for following traditions and norms?

-          Why do they opt for the wrong doing and they know it’s wrong?

-          Why would some of them beg for forgiveness even though they have not done anything wrong?

-          Why would some of them go to the extreme and get addicted to drugs or alcohol or commit criminal acts or even commit suicide?

There are many more questions to add to the above list. The root cause could be different but parents play a crucial role in the upbringing and mental health of their children.

In my next post, I will touch upon the different styles of parenting from my readings but I will focus on one parenting style that was more common than the rest and it’s detrimental to the mental health of children.

Your Existing Clients, a Treasure That Should Not Be Ignored

When I was with HSBC Qatar, I wrote an article on the CEO’s blog on how to generate revenues from my perspective. I shared the same article on LinkedIn and would like to share it again on my blog.  

One of any business's goals in any organization is to deliver sustainable growth. Sustainable growth can be achieved in many ways: be ahead of competition, creativity, technology, investment in staff, diversity, improvement of processing, retaining existing profitable customer base, acquiring new quality customer base, and on top of all of that, is to generate revenues.

There are many ways to generate revenues but in my opinion, the main source of revenues comes from your existing customers. How to do that is very simple. All you need to do is have a strong personal relationship with them. Customers are very much aware that almost all businesses out there offer more or less the same products and services but all they care about is the personal relationship.

Most organizations have a wide range of products and services, have the international presence, and really care about their brand. They can easily cross sell their products and services to their existing customers however, they need to make them aware that they have these products and services. If you don't talk, your competitor will.

I read on-line a comment from a banker who said, quote "Why spend a majority of your effort looking for new customers when there is GOLD in your existing accounts?" unquote. You will be surprised by the business that your existing customers can give you. They will also give you NEW business if you manage to win their trust. You can build a trusting relationship with your customers by: knowing what you are talking about (have the knowledge), show customers that you care (be responsive & empathetic), and be their adviser as many customers don't know most of the time what to do or what they want. It's always a win win situation.

The more products and services customers avail from one company, the more they are bonded with this company and the more difficult for them to move to another company. However, if they are not happy with the company, they won't care how much effort, time, or money it will cost them to move to another company. Therefore, the key word here is excellent customer service, it goes hand in hand with cross selling.

Acquiring new customers is as important because some of the existing customers all they care about is pricing regardless of how unique the products and/or services are.

Your existing affluent customers can be the main source of your new affluent customers.

Any business in the world especially in the sales and service industries will greatly benefit from a happy customer's word of mouth.

Android Samsung Phones Galaxy S4 – Big Mistake

Android Samsung Phones Galaxy S4, the Biggest Smartphone Purchase Mistake I’ve ever made.

I had Blackberry phones for over four years and I never had any major problems with them except maybe the screen and the keypads were very small. It was about time to change my phone and I wanted something new but wasn’t sure which one to go for. Most of my friends had Apple I-phone or Android Samsung phones so I thought, this time; I’ll go for either one of them.

I did some research on-line on both of them but I didn’t find one that has more advantages than the other (maybe I didn’t do enough research) so I decided to go for Android Samsung Galaxy S4 which was just released and in the market for only one month.

I bought the phone from Fido (cell phones service provider in Canada) at the time when they had an offer if you renew your agreement and enter into a contract for 2 years with them; you could purchase the phone at a discount, approximately 35% less than the original purchase price. I found that an attractive deal so I bought it.

It took me sometime to discover how to use it and I was getting there until I got a pop up message to upgrade the phone to the latest version, 4.3 the Jellybean. I did an update twice before and I had no problems, but the third update, the Jellybean, erased all my contacts, pictures, videos, music, texts, and whatsapp and viber conversations forever, nothing could be retrieved. Not only that, I also can’t connect to WiFi when I go outside of the house although I already pay for Data Plan subscription with Fido so that I’m able to use the internet, e-mails, and whatsapp when I’m out. I also noticed that the quality of pictures I take worsened, charging of the phone is slow, the battery dies quicker than before, and a music downloader app that I used heavily before to download songs and music is no longer user friendly.

It’s been almost two months now and I still can’t get over the fact that I lost all my data on my phone. I contacted Fido to find me a solution and they told me it was a Samsung issue and that I should contact them. I contacted Samsung Canada and they told me there was a bug on some of the Android phones after the latest update to version 4.3 the Jellybean, and that they are still trying to find a solution. They couldn’t do anything to help me retrieve my data and since I didn’t manually back them up to Kies on Samsung website because I already activated the auto back up to Google on my phone so I thought my data were safe, they were gone forever. They also couldn’t help me solve the connection to WiFi. They took my phone number and said they’d contact me when they find a fix.

I still haven’t heard from Samsung. I contacted them several times to find me a solution at least to the WiFi problem but they don’t have any. The last contact was today and the agent advised me to take out the battery, press on the power button for one minute, then put the battery back again and this should solve the WiFi connection problem and other minor issues. I did that but haven’t tested it yet so I’m not sure if it’s going to work or not.

I regret purchasing a Samsung phone. I wish I had stayed with Blackberry or went for Apple instead. I will not recommend Samsung to anybody.

Do You Want to Change Your Life? Go For It…

We all reach a point in our life when we say ‘enough is enough’, I need to change this or I need to quit or I need out. But, do we have the guts to change? Do we actually plan the change and follow it through? Do we consult with others and if yes, are we easily influenced by what others say about our desire to change? By nature, we are all in constant quest for what’s best.

Change is a must and needed to maintain our sanity. It’s also inevitable whether we like it or not so we need to accept it and embrace it. Many people are scared of change and feel safer when they are in their comfort zone therefore; they avoid it or resist it. That’s just the way they are, they can’t help it, it’s very hard for them, but if they ever contemplated a change, they will definitely need help throughout the process until they achieve their goal, get used to it and feel comfortable again.

We all know that change is the only thing that’s constant. Whether you initiated the change or it just entered your life without warning, there is always something good that will come out of it. You may not realize it immediately but definitely in the long run, you will reap the benefit from it. There are times when you can make an instant change but there are other times when you need to plan it and be patient until the change materializes.

There are plenty of benefits and advantages to change, no one can argue otherwise. Whether you are changing your profession, your country, your partner, your friends, your home, or anything else, the main benefit in my opinion is sound mental health. Other benefits may include but not limited to:

1-      New perspective on life. You may have certain way of thinking about a particular issue or a judgment about a particular matter, but with change, you will learn to re-think your principles and adopt new values on life.

2-      New-Found Knowledge. Change is always an opportunity to learn new things. New education, new system, new culture, new invention, new language,…etc. The more we learn, the more we grow personally, the more opportunities we get, and the faster we progress.

3-      Strength. Sometimes when unpleasant & unexpected change happens like loss of job, savings, loved ones …etc or going through hardship of any kind, this may actually make you stronger. Sometimes tough experiences in life are way better teachers than school and family.

4-      Practice makes perfect. We will resist change initially but the more changes we face, the easier we adapt to new situations and the more capable we become in handling unexpected circumstances.

5-      Sanity. Sometimes we reach the edge of explosion because of monotonous way of living or unhealthy relationships or unsuccessful jobs; and we seize to function efficiently or make proper and sound judgment or right decisions because of that. The only solution to maintain your sanity is to get rid of the things that are driving you nuts and have a fresh start.

I've always been brave and adventurous; and routine was my biggest enemy. Change is a big part of my personality. Even if sometimes I’m terrified of the change but as long as I did my research and learnt the pros and cons of anything, I go for it. If the change comes to me, even if it’s unpleasant, I don’t resist it, I look at it positively and optimistically.

My biggest ever change was moving to Canada permanently in June 2011. I left everything behind, my family and friends, an excellent well-paid job, and a life style I consider luxurious compared to the one I’m having in Canada but since I’m eager for change, I made the decision to open a new chapter in my life and I know I’ll be fine.

I read a nice quote in The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho that says ‘And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you achieve it’. Another quote from the same book says ‘It’s the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting’. Socrates once said ‘The unexamined life is not worth living’.